It all happened on the same day. The printer broke down and the repair guy took it away to replace the roller or something. So we had to go to one of those print/Xerox/scan shops to get a print and scan needed urgently for a form submission deadline. Then the form wouldn’t upload so we had to rescan the jpg to a lower res. The wifi stopped working so we had to start all over again.
Meanwhile in another room, the washing machine stopped rotating so the water couldn’t drain. Amazingly, the carpenter turned up at the front door after a week of reminders and out of the blue so did the man for servicing the treadmill……….
Chatting with my mother some hours later I find out that her fridge broke down and the car had to be sent for servicing that same day and my sister had had a major water pipe disaster at her place also, many oceans away.
I talk to a friend about this crazy coincidence and she tells me about a family where all 4 members had a minor accident on the same day despite being in four different places.
I turn to my horoscope. It says “You may feel like changing your routine. But do not do it abruptly without thinking properly. You have a tendency to dream about the future and forget the present. So enjoy your present without making any amendments to your current lifestyle. Your health is entirely in your hands, if you are staying alone”
Huh ??! This is so vague and mostly common sense that it is just a waste of time.
But another one is really specific and says stuff like “On Wednesday and Thursday, unexpected restrictions will keep you from taking care of everything on your agenda. Wear red to improve your energy. Be careful with your money and wary of strangers who ask for it. Avoid climbing up staircases.”
You have to really go WHAT ??! So 1/12th of the world cannot climb a staircase today ? Are they serious???
Apparently many think not. It’s just fun stuff, these horoscopes and predictions and personality traits and here are some I found on the internet:
“The equilibrium of Saturn’s seventh moon alignment with Pluto puts the sun in your water axis this week. That could go either way, so try not to do too much speaking or walking or living.” (http://www.jokes2go.com/lists/list6.html)
Gemini (May 22-June 21) are schizophrenic, unpredictable, incongruous and an enigma. Though they will usually tell you one thing, and then go do something absolutely different, they are not being two-faced. When Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” he was probably looking at a gaggle of Gemini.
This means, of course, that most Gemini are gay. Gemini homes always have closets, but it is often difficult to tell if they are coming in, or coming out of them. Or both.
Scorpio (October 24-November 22) think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every penny of it. Despite all these shortcomings, they make loyal & devoted marriage partners, at least for the first 5 minutes. After that, it just depends on what catches their eye. Scorpios fear nothing. Most Scorpios are murdered in their beds.
Aquarius (January 21-February 19). The Kama Sutra was probably first used as an elementary school colouring book for Aquarius kids. Though they are intuitive dreamers, they also have a sharp analytical perception. Advances in civilization, science, and new inventions are a special interest to this sign. On the dark side, an Aquarius is a free spirit who doesn’t give a shit for other people’s opinions. At times they are careless, slovenly and absent-minded. Even odoriferous. People of this sign are the most likely to have fleas, lice, herpes and VD. And pass them on.
And then there are the pithy ones:
Aries: Those who wander are not lost; they’re just looking for a clean bathroom. .
Cancer: In every life, a little rain must fall but you’re dodging blue ice from airplane toilets.
Gemini: Your life plan of chasing everything shiny backfires when you stumble into a land filled with aluminum foil and costume jewellery. Find your way out by following someone boring and sensible; they’ll lead you out of the sparkling desert and back to reality.
Sagittarius: You’re hit in the head with a baseball on Friday and develop temporary psychic powers. You can’t predict lottery numbers but you have a nice side business finding people’s car keys for them.
But I am in a dilemma now. If I can’t climb stairs, take decisions about money and be wary of strangers who ask for it ……… what do I do when the Amazon delivery guy rings the doorbell today to deliver my “Advanced Guide to Tarot Cards” ??